FDG Mobile #2- Nimble Quest

 

OS: Android (also available on iOS)

Price: Free (supported by in-app purchases, very limited ads)

The game of Snake is almost as old as the PC itself. Anyone who had to use a graphing calculator in high school should be familiar with Snake. It’s an easy to make game that has been replicated nearly as many times as Tetris. If you hadn’t played it on your calculator in class when you were supposed to be knocking out some algebraic equations, you either didn’t have a graphing calculator or you actually liked math class.

Many a student heard “Hey, get back to work!” while viewing this screen.

So how do you evolve a simple, classic game like Snake? Tetris reinvented itself with countless sequels. Tetris 2, Tetris Blast, Tetrisphere, Tetris Attack, and so on and so forth all brought something new to the Tetris table.

The Tetris table.

So who would jump at the chance to make Snake an everlasting and beloved gaming series? Constantly evolving and changing things up when things were getting stale? Anybody? Seriously, anyone want to take a shot at glory? Well, it seems many were content with leaving Snake in its very basic form. Sure, you may fancy up the graphics a bit, but it is essentially the same game. Like the HD remakes of our favorite Sony games or 3D re-releases of movies we’ve watched countless times, new graphics don’t essentially change the experience. Let’s say you own a house. The paint on the outside of it is royal blue. You decide to change it to sky blue. Yes, you’ve given the house a new coat of paint, but you haven’t changed anything on the inside and you still live in a blue house.

…with a blue little window and a blue Corvette…

So in 2013, NimbleBit takes it upon themselves to do what no-one did for decades: take the game Snake and make something really awesome. How do you do that? NimbleBit says you take a whole Snake, add in a dash of RPG elements, a pinch of delightful retro graphics that everyone loves, melt in some buttery-smooth controls, bake in an iOS or Android dev unit for a while and you get: NIMBLE QUEST!

No actual snakes were harmed in the making of this game… that I know of.

Controls are pretty basic. Swipe your finger in the direction you want your ever-growing team to move. You start off with one hero. As you progress through the game you can unlock additional heroes who will join your team and extend your hero train. The heroes will use their attacks to defeat spiders, skeletons, knights, and more as you move to avoid running into them and collect boost items and gems. If you are defeated, you must start back at the beginning, with one hero, but any heroes you have unlocked are available for you to choose to be the leader. Each hero has a different specialty allowing you to choose a hero to play as to suit your style. Among these are sweeping blade attacks, magic fireballs, bullets, arrows, and more. Assisting you are the many items you can pick up to boost your attack speed, freeze enemies, give you a protective shield, or a magnet to attract gems to you. You may also use NimbleBit’s currency (represented by large gold coins) used across their games to help you.

Frozen enemies and copious amounts of gems. Pictured: Success.

Gems are used to increase the effectiveness or duration of these boosts or they can be used to immediately level up one of your heroes. Each hero has 3 levels, each increasing a certain stat like attack speed or armor. Increasing these levels can be done without the use of gems, but it takes quite a long time, although the amount of gems needed is quite high as well.

Just like when you went to the bar last weekend, you will spend too much money here.

This game is addicting. I haven’t played an Android game this addicting since I discovered… well, anything made by Kairosoft (if you’re familiar with any of their “_____ Story” games, you know what I mean). My only complaint is that on rare occasions your movement swipe will either not register or move you in a direction you didn’t intend to go in. The ads aren’t intrusive at all. Nothing will appear during gameplay or on the menus. The only thing that will pop up is a very rare full screen ad when going back to the character select screen after a death. Even then, it’s only for one of NimbleBit’s other games.

Bottom line: Like classic gameplay with a modern twist all at the low, low price of nothing? Check out Nimble Quest today, you Android or iPhone having gamer! The links below will bring you to the version of your choice!

Google Play (Android)

iTunes (iOS)

Also, check me out on Facebook or Twitter! I post more on Twitter, but articles get posted to Facebook… sooo… I don’t know how to end this…

Run away!

 

Big Red is my new crush.

Sorry, ladies.

Episode #27- Wall Street Kid

System: NES

Release Date: June 1990

Rarity: 49%

Price/Location: $3.99/Game Changers

Let me just say this: If I was as good at making stock market moves as I was in this game, I wouldn’t be living in the smallest bedroom of an apartment I share with two friends. This game has given me unrealistic expectations of the beginner’s learning curve in the world of stock trading. I am shocked and appalled that such a game that can leave such an impression even left the testing phase! This is why the economy is in the crapper, people! Wake up and smell the crushing debt! How many people played this game as children and grew up to be reckless stock traders on the mean streets of Wall? This is nothing more than an economy crasher simulator!

And yet, all I see are dollar signs. I feel my wallet thickening. I hear the roar of the Ferrari in my garage. I smell victory. I can taste SUCCESS!

This game is a scam! I made it big with investments in Carnivore Cruise Lines, Yapple Computers, Rattel Toys, and Boing Airlines! I diversified the HELL out of that stock portfolio! My wife was so happy over the buttloads of money I was making! My family loved that I was wise in my investments! I had it all! But here’s a newsflash: NONE OF THOSE COMPANIES ACTUALLY EXIST! I couldn’t translate my success into the real world! I had to take a guess with mere facsimiles of the companies in this game! Where was my assistant giving me hot stock tips? She was nowhere to be found in the real world!

I’m so alone!

I’ve lost everything because of this game! Girlfriend: GONE! Car: GONE! Life: OVER! I write this review as a message to the masses! A warning, if you will! Spread the word: this game is nothing more than hopes and dreams! It teaches you to be fast and loose with your money! Get my message to Fox News or CNN! Someone! Preferably presented by a middle-aged white woman who has never played the game before. Anyone will do!

Was I the best, Prisila? WAS I?!

Verdict: BARGAIN BIN

Oh, and the game was kinda boring too.

Leave your messages of support and words of encouragement on my Facebook and Twitter pages!

Thanks for reading!

Episode #26- The Humans

System(s)- Game Boy (Also available on: Mega Drive/Genesis, Super NES, Amiga, Amiga CD32, 3DO, PC, Jaguar, Lynx, Atari Falcon, Nintendo DS)

Release Date- December 1992

Rarity- 24%

Price- $4.99

The Humans. What a lovable bunch! Look at ’em up there! Just like you and me. Romance, jealousy, fear, happiness, creativity. Why not make a game about them?!

Oh…

Ah-ha! But this game came out nearly 8 years earlier …and has nearly nothing to do with The Sims! Actually, if you’ve played Mario vs. Donkey Kong: March of the Minis or Lemmings, you’ll be right at home with this one. The story goes about how you would think a story about cavemen at the dawn of time would go. They have just discovered tools and you must use these tools as they are introduced to assist you in completing the level such as spears and ropes. You also have your fellow tribesmen to rely on as you can use them as a step ladder of sorts to climb small ledges. At the beginning of the level, the tribal chief will tell you what your goal is. You are then told how many tribesmen are available and how many you need to complete the level. For instance, on the first level you have 12 tribesmen available, but only 4 are needed to complete the task. The others are in reserve just in case someone gets killed.

“You know… we already have these spears here. No need to scale that dangerous cliffside to get another one. We could always make more too… what’s that? ‘Do it or you’ll eat my family,’ gotcha.”

The controls took a little getting used to for me, but after a minute or so, it’s pretty easy. Right/Left on the d-pad moves your little caveman, B is used to select an action, and A sets that action. The Select button brings up a cursor which you’ll move to select another caveman once you get another one into proper position.

“Okay, so I’ll be the Y, you guys decide who’s gonna be the M, C, and A.”

 

Spear get! On to Level 2 where we use that spear! The spear can be used to fend off dinosaurs, vault over small gaps, or can be thrown. To leap over a gap, you must stand next to said gap, start a meter to set the power of your jump, and watch as your little caveman makes a daring leap over a pit of spikes. Now, you need to throw that spear over to the next caveman, so that he may also make the leap and oh dear I just killed him with the spear.

Sure did!

Verdict: HIGH FIVE

I was really surprised with this game. It’s got a certain charm to it. Maybe it’s the graphics or the little caveman sprites. The cursor and walking speed of the cavemen could be faster considering the amount of ground (or air, in the case of the cursor) they have to cover on each level. Also, the timer on each level seems redundant. You never feel pressured by the timer because they give you an arbitrary amount of seconds that you will not even come close to using all of (711 seconds for Level 1, 826 for Level 2, etc.). But these are minor gripes. There are not many games out there like this one, so if you’re looking for a strategy/platform/puzzle game, give The Humans a chance. The Doctor did…

“It’s a game full of humany-wumany, timey-wimey stuff. You”l love it. Is this the face of a man who lies?”

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FDG Mobile #1- Pocket Planes

OS (Operating System): Android (also available on iOS)

Price: Free (supported by in-app purchases, no ads)

Alrighty! Well, since the servers hosting my online coursework are down, I suddenly have some free time! Why not introduce Five Dollar Gamer Mobile?! No, I will not be selling you a smartphone. I don’t have the network capabilities. If I did, forget 4G, you’d be lucky to get -7G.

Our latest product!

Rather, FDG Mobile will focus on smartphone games! Usually these will be games I’ve played before and rather than playing them blind for the blog like I do with the main series, I’ll just be picking out ones I like and enjoy (no negativity here!). Therefore, no score will be given afterwords. If it’s featured here, it means I liked it.

*-Even you, dear reader!

I’ve played a game in the past from Pocket Planes developer NimbleBit before. Tiny Tower was a tower building sim… kinda. It had nice, pixly graphics and a simple concept. Add floors, attract tennants and businesses, micro-manage them. Boom. Simple. What I really liked is it didn’t require your constant attention. You could go a week without playing it and you can pick up right where you left off. You wouldn’t be making additional money from your businesses since you need to restock them, but nothing would deteriorate. So I had high hopes going into Pocket Planes.

Pocket Planes tasks you with running and maintaining an airline. You buy planes (cargo, passenger, or a combo plane), color them how you wish, name the flight, choose destinations, and grow to become the #1 world airline! You start off by selecting your region. I chose the southwest United States, which gives you the 3 starting cities of San Diego, Las Vegas, and Phoenix. Phoenix! Exciting!

Destination: Grandma’s house!

Select the passengers and cargo you want to send to one of the other 2 cities you have available and build up enough profit to unlock other cities. Opening other cities allows you to expand your operations and attract more passengers and shipments. The further a destination, the bigger the payday. But you’ll need better planes to make longer flights. Or you can connect via other cities to reach your destination. For instance, you have a flight from San Francisco to Orlando. A better plane can make the flight in one shot, or a smaller plane might have to connect via Phoenix, Houston, and New Orleans before reaching Orlando. If this is the case, it might be wise to also include a passenger along this flight path. It’s a neat element of strategy that doesn’t require critical thinking, but it’s not exactly mindless tapping. A brain is still required to play.

Pictured: Minimum System Requirements

As you grow your airline empire you’ll be able to unlock bigger and better planes and eventually take on overseas flights. I personally haven’t made it that far, but I’ve got nearly the entire U.S. on lockdown. You wanna fly from your hovel in Detroit to a grilled food convention in Denver? You have to go through Five Dollar Airlines! Your shanty in Cincinnati to your clown college in Portland? Five Dollar Airlines! Download this game and micromanage your airline today!

Google Play (Android) store link: Click Here!

iTunes Store (iOS): Click Here!

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Thanks for reading!

 

Hey! I’m still alive!

So if you don’t follow my Facebook or Twitter pages (which you totally should), you may know I’m on indefinite hiatus from writing because of some life stuff going on. About a month ago I was let go from my job. I found a new job just 3 days later, but it turned out to not be what it seemed (some people may throw around the word “scam” when describing it). I’m currently in training for a new job, but it’s as a sort of accelerated school program (if you’ve ever taken summer classes in college, think something like that), and they place you in a related job upon completion. Since it’s an accelerated course, there is a LOT of online course work for me to do. I will try to post some shorter quicker articles here and there, but the longer stuff I have been writing in the past is on hold for AT LEAST the end of this month.

Also, if you’re reaching this site from the GameChangers site, welcome! I’m pretty excited for the opportunity the owners of GameChangers have afforded me to get my blog out there to a larger audience.

Thanks for reading! And remember, when life gets you down…

 

FDG Buys #3- Game Changers

Buy. Sell. Play. Trade. Conquer.

This is the motto of one of the coolest video games stores I’ve found in the area. The store is located near the intersection of North Park and Monroe on the north side of Grand Rapids. It’s definitely a cozy little place. Not very big. But what it lacks in size, it makes up for in personality. This store is decorated in your Nintendo-fueled childhood. I walked around the store pointing out Nintendo Power posters I had on my bedroom wall as a kid, toys I had, and other neat odds and ends. Prices for games are again comparable to other stores in the area with some items more and less than other similar items. The steal of the day though was a blue Game Boy Advance SP I picked up for $15 for my girlfriend.

One cool thing that sets Game Changers apart from other stores is the neat artwork and craft items they offer, such as the ones pictured above. They also have coasters, light switch covers, power outlet covers, and more. They sell everything from Atari to Xbox 360, but you can tell this place has its heart firmly in Nintendo’s hands. If you’re a classic gaming fan, but especially a classic Nintendo fan, give Game Changers a look. They’ve only been open since late-November 2012, so hurry up and give this store your support!

Both images were borrowed from Game Changer’s Facebook Page! Check ’em out!

I have Facebook as well!

And Twitter!

Thanks for reading!

FDG Buys #2- 2nd Chance Games

It’s been a while since I wrote about a place where I buy my games.

I want to spotlight this store despite not having written anything about a game I’ve purchased here yet. I’ve only made a few trips to this store as it is on the other side of town, but both times I had a positive experience. The sales staff is friendly, and the prices were very fair, especially the copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 I picked up for only $6.99 (my favorite game of all-time and I hadn’t had a physical copy in my collection since I was 13, odd).  The selection of games, movies, and CDs is also quite good.

So friendly sales staff, fair prices, and a good selection of products. What, then, makes 2nd Chance stand out about other comparable stores? Their DVD selection and prices. They have a TON of DVDs! You’d be hard-pressed not to find something you’re looking for. But what’s even better than the selection is the prices. Most any DVD is only $4. Most box sets are not priced that much more (or, in the case of The History of the WWE Intercontinental Championship set I picked up, not more at all). Even better, they have a bargain bin full of decent movies for only $2 (i.e. The Simpsons Movie and Simpsons Christmas Special I picked up). What’s more, if you are looking to sell any DVDs or Blu-Rays, they pay cash in addition to store credit! Not a lot of places do that!

So if you’re in the area of 28th and East Beltline in Grand Rapids, MI, give 2nd Chance games a look-see. You might just give them a… 2nd chance…

…That was awful. I apologize.

All images used in this article were borrowed from 2nd Chance Games’ Facebook Page.

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Thanks for reading!

Top 5: Nintendo Handhelds

I said I was gonna do it in my last Top 5 article, so here it is! My Top 5 Nintendo Handheld systems! Now, for some of these there ARE some hardware revisions (Game Boy Advance, then Advance SP, for example) that I am keeping in mind. So when I list one, I am also including all revisions of it. With that said… let’s do this thing:

#5- Game Boy Color

We start off with 1998’s Game Boy Color! This was Nintendo’s first handheld system capable of displaying colors (hence the name, duh). This was the first big step in Nintendo overhauling their handheld offerings. The reason I list this at number 5 is because there wasn’t that much time that went by between this system and the release of the Game Boy Advance (about 3 years) and there isn’t really a classic GBC game that jumps out at me as being particularly outstanding. There were several good games, don’t get me wrong, but outside of some Pokemon and Legend of Zelda games, nothing was real noteworthy.

#4- Nintendo DS

This was a system I was super pumped for upon its release. The power of a Nintendo 64 in your hands?! Whoaaaaaaaa! I got my DS and Super Mario 64 DS for Christmas the year it came out and I was blown away as much as when I got my 64 and Super Mario 64 seven years prior. The reason I don’t hold the original DS (and Lite, DSi, DSi XL) in higher esteem is because I went through kind of a jaded gamer phase during my ownership of the system early on. I bought and sold it about 3 times (owning an original DS, DS Lite twice, and a DSi XL) and I also had a PSP so I could play “cool games” (ugh). The DS is an amazing system with amazing games, but I didn’t quite have the love for it that I had/have for other Nintendo handhelds.

#3- Game Boy Advance

I was so excited to get the Game Boy Advance, that I got the system before I was able to get any games for it. I didn’t even care that Super Mario Advance was merely a Super Mario Bros. 2 remake. The fact that this (at the time) super-powerful handheld system was capable of displaying Super Nintendo-quality (sometimes better) graphics was amazing! I brought my GBA everywhere! To my friend’s house, my paper route, to school… where it got stolen!  I loved this system so much, I spent every dime I had to my name to replace it after that. When the SP came out, I HAD to have it. The 1st Nintendo handheld with a BACKLIGHT?! WHAAAAAAAAT?! I was saving up money for it when all of a sudden…

THIS! This beautiful golden God of a handheld system was released! The NES-skinned Game Boy Advance SP. I drooled like Homer Simpson when I saw that. Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to drain my savings and I was never able to get the SP. I never ended up owning an SP until earlier in 2012 (a plain silver one), but I would still LOVE to own the NES-skinned version (always accepting donations!)

#2- Game Boy

The original, the old-school, the O.G.G.B, the big fatty Game Boy (and the Pocket). This was among my first presents I ever requested when I was old enough to request stuff for my birthday. There are so many games I loved on this thing and so many I’m still discovering. One of the first sections I hit up whenever I go to a game store selling retro games is the Game Boy case. There’s just something about the cartridges and artwork that just invokes childhood memories and makes me wax nostalgically about “the good ol’ days.” There’s a reason I’ve done more Game Boy games for reviews on this site than any other system. I just happen to get more curious about Game Boy games than any other system. Now, if I was writing this article before March 27th, 2011, the Game Boy would be #1, but there was a certain handheld release that day that totally stole my heart.

#1- 3DS

That’s right. The most modern day Nintendo handheld system on the market is #1 on a list made by a guy who is primarily a retro gamer. I freaking LOVE everything about the 3DS. I feel this is the most complete system Nintendo has ever released. Fantastic games, fantastic features, and fantastic graphics (by handheld standards) make this the total package. How do you make a fantastic system even better? Release the 3DS XL! Oh my Shigeru Miyamoto, this is such a good system! Any design flaw the 3DS has (aside from a 2nd thumbstick, but I’m one of the few who doesn’t care about that), was addressed in this redesign. The eShop is fantastic and has plenty of classic games to whet my retro appetite and I’ve even discovered some classic games I never knew about. The 3DS is a great system and I’m looking forward to what the future holds for it!

What do you think? How would you rank these systems? Let me know in the comments or get at me on Facebook or on Twitter!

As always, thanks for reading!

Episode 25- Todd’s Adventure In Slime World

System(s)- Sega Genesis (also available on Atari Lynx)

Release Date- April 30th, 1992

Rarity- 43%

Price- $4.99

You know what game got the gross factor right? Boogerman. Boogerman: A Pick-and-Flick Adventure. That game grossed you out and had the toilet humor ripe for making a 7-year-old me laugh his butt off in 1994.

“Boogers and toilets! Bahahaha! Comedy gold!” ~Five Dollar Gamer circa 1994

I suppose that’s what the 90’s were all about. The gross factor appealed to kids like Call of Duty (or the “cool” factor) appeals to kids today. Look at prominent children’s network Nickelodeon. What is the common theme among 80% of its live-action 1990s line up? Slime. That green stuff that was dumped onto children’s heads on You Can’t Do That On Television is the slime in question. It was what likely turned Double Dare hosted by Marc Summers into Super Sloppy Double Dare starring an OCD-riddled Marc Summers.

“Hi, I’m Marc Summers! And welcome to my personal hell!”

So slime is all the rage and developer Epyx, led by then 11-year-old Timmy Coruthers says “Kids love slime. Let’s make a game with a guy with sweet shades and he fights slime monsters.” Before I begin the review, I feel it poignant at this point in the article to mention that Epyx went bankrupt mere months after the release of this game.

We’re taking a trip and Todd’s at the wheel!

When they say “Slime World” my goodness do they ever mean it. It dominates the screen! You, your enemies, items, take up tiny fractions of the screen. It would be better if this slime environment was… well… anything other than what it looks like in this game. Walls, ceilings, floors, and the foreground are all the same ugly solid shade of green. This is Boogerman’s dream vacation.

But as history tells us, graphics do not make the game. Unfortunately this game doesn’t have any of the components to make a competent game. This is barely a game. It’s a game in the sense that the Genesis I put it in was able to play it. Controls: bad. Sound: bad. Fun: none. The portion of the game I played merely had our “hero” Todd. Wander aimlessly through a cave maze until he found the exit. No story, no reason why. Just a Point A to Point B bore.

Verdict: BARGAIN BIN

Normally I’d put a game like this into The Landfill, but TAISW didn’t really anger me as much as it put me to sleep. There’s not much to this game and not much to say about it. I keep reading that the Atari Lynx version is superior in every way, but I imagine that’s like saying your Math 201 lecture is more stimulating than your Math 101 lecture.

Well… sometimes Math classes can be okay.

Join me in an adventure (25% less slime) on my Facebook page and Twitter page!

As always, thanks for reading!