Episode #27- Wall Street Kid

Posted: April 10, 2013 in 5DG Plays
Tags: , , , , , , ,

wskbox

System: NES

Release Date: June 1990

Rarity: 49%

Price/Location: $3.99/Game Changers

Let me just say this: If I was as good at making stock market moves as I was in this game, I wouldn’t be living in the smallest bedroom of an apartment I share with two friends. This game has given me unrealistic expectations of the beginner’s learning curve in the world of stock trading. I am shocked and appalled that such a game that can leave such an impression even left the testing phase! This is why the economy is in the crapper, people! Wake up and smell the crushing debt! How many people played this game as children and grew up to be reckless stock traders on the mean streets of Wall? This is nothing more than an economy crasher simulator!

And yet, all I see are dollar signs. I feel my wallet thickening. I hear the roar of the Ferrari in my garage. I smell victory. I can taste SUCCESS!

And yet, all I see are dollar signs. I feel my wallet thickening. I hear the roar of the Ferrari in my garage. I smell victory. I can taste SUCCESS!

This game is a scam! I made it big with investments in Carnivore Cruise Lines, Yapple Computers, Rattel Toys, and Boing Airlines! I diversified the HELL out of that stock portfolio! My wife was so happy over the buttloads of money I was making! My family loved that I was wise in my investments! I had it all! But here’s a newsflash: NONE OF THOSE COMPANIES ACTUALLY EXIST! I couldn’t translate my success into the real world! I had to take a guess with mere facsimiles of the companies in this game! Where was my assistant giving me hot stock tips? She was nowhere to be found in the real world!

I'm so alone!

I’m so alone!

I’ve lost everything because of this game! Girlfriend: GONE! Car: GONE! Life: OVER! I write this review as a message to the masses! A warning, if you will! Spread the word: this game is nothing more than hopes and dreams! It teaches you to be fast and loose with your money! Get my message to Fox News or CNN! Someone! Preferably presented by a middle-aged white woman who has never played the game before. Anyone will do!

Was I the best, Prisila? WAS I?!

Was I the best, Prisila? WAS I?!

Verdict: BARGAIN BIN

Oh, and the game was kinda boring too.

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Thanks for reading!

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