Archive for April, 2015

homealonebox

Home Alone, the movie, is a classic. It’s on TV every year during the holidays. It’s loved by many worldwide. What can I say about Home Alone that hasn’t been said before? Home Alone was one of my favorite movies as a kid, so much so, that I requested the Game Boy version for my 5th birthday. That game is a challenge. Perhaps too much for 5-year-old me (27-year-old me still struggles with it), but it was a good game in my opinion. The NES version, on the other hand, is a challenge because it’s awful. In a bit of shortsightedness, I asked the fans of my Facebook page to request a game for me to play, and in turn I would plug some kind of content for them. I did this once before, and it turned out okay. But what Mike Nedwick had for me was sinister and I think he did it on purpose. He KNEW this game sucked. He could have picked ANY game for me to play. “Hey, play Super Mario Bros. Plug my YouTube channel.” But no. NO! That wouldn’t be funny! “Hey, FiveDollarGamer, play this garbage ass game, then give me free advertising. Kthxbai.” Jokes on you, BUDDY! I’m not that popular! I’m about as popular as the no-name studio that developed this insult to the memory of Macaulay Culkin (Oh, he’s still alive? Yeesh, he sure doesn’t look it). What asshole studio farted out this travesty anyway?

bethesda logo

Oh shit. The same people that would go on to create such classics as The Elder Scrolls and Fallout series cut their teeth making NES games based on licensed properties. I barely want to talk about this game. It’s bad. It’s ugly as that girl you took home from the bar this weekend. You can control it as well as you can control a crying 4-year-old at the mall. It overall just bums me out. Ned wanted me to promote his YouTube gaming series This Level Sucks, where he actually plays this trash game. Go see it in action there. I’m done.

This Level Sucks on YouTube!

Thanks for reading!